Tag Archives: Grace

When “How Can I Not” Becomes “Why Should I” – Part 1

By Tonja Condray Klein(c)02/24/21

Within the seven churches mentioned in Revelation of the Christian Bible, the one I most abhor and pity would be Laodicea. Each church except Philadelphia have at least one vice or shortcoming to account for at the Judgment Seat of Christ that occurs after the Rapture of the Church of believers who are saved by Faith in the blood of the Lamb of God and rescued to Heaven before the Great Tribulation begins on Earth. Most in biblical study have concurred that this will be the last church in the chronological phase of the Church Age that is also the Grace Dispensation for eschatology.

I’ve been a born-again Christian since I was eight years old and accepted Jesus Christ as my Personal Savior. I began singing at church when I was eleven and also writing songs. I was filled with the Baptism of the Holy Spirit with the evidence of Speaking in other Tongues when I was thirteen. I began teaching children’s church when I was fourteen. I have always wanted to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with my testimony and singing for forty years of my life. I began writing stories while in middle school, but my calling began with writing my first Eirinth Fantasy novel in 2009.

Fiction writing has been stated as a waste of time and energy in some academic and even Christian groups, but I hold up my writing of this as an example of trying to reach some with the Gospel of Jesus Christ in a way that can keep them from using their pre-conceived ideas of Christianity to lock their hearts away from letting the truth of Jesus Christ even find a way to give them what their heart, soul, and body needs more than anything else in this existence. Jesus Christ used ‘parables’ that were simply ‘stories’ to get into the weary hearts of men and women closed off by dead religion.

The One True Living God Almighty as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is longing for His Church to SEE what’s going on around them, REPENT from hard-heartedness, and FIND all the ways to reach this dying world for HIS GLORY and THEIR SALVATION THROUGH JESUS CHRIST! We have TOO MANY pharisaical churches now that make the ones that crucified Jesus Christ seem like milkweeds. We are supposed to ALL want people to KNOW JESUS! ALL!!! Not a few. Not those you want. Not those who can help your position in men’s eyes. ALL who can be SAVED!

Christianity is NOT a closed group, a member-only club through church acceptance, or a religious wheel of propriety that shows how holy they are and how evil everyone else is. THAT IS NOT RIGHT! JESUS SAID ANY! I will LIVE AND DIE by that mandate… ANY!!! If you have been made aware of your sin, you understand that Jesus Christ died in your place for them, and you ask HIM for forgiveness and offer your life to HIM to cleanse, heal, and empower then YOU ARE SAVED. No church has the right to disown you. JESUS CHRIST accepts you if you make HIM yours.

Why do I despise Laodicea so much? I despise it since I see it EVERY SINGLE DAY. Our world is living in the Last Days specified in the biblical prophetic texts. I’m not a scholar. I’m not a clergy woman. I’m not even degreed by any school for biblical studies. I read. I pray. I watch. I compare. I know. Could there be more years than I think? Yes. Does that mean I’m going to let my “How can I not” become a “Why should I”? NO! I should and am trying to keep sharing all I know for as long as I can. Does that mean I can reach millions? No, but if just ONE is reached, it matters.

Laodicea is one of the greatest fallacies of faith in the span of time for this entire world. Seeming to be wise, they become fools. Thinking they have everything they become poor. Lying to themselves and each other that they are all holy they become blind. Look around! How many churches do you see in your home area, but how many are showing the Love of Jesus with Truth of sin and Need of the Savior? NOT THAT MANY. Thousands, nay millions fill our streets, but how many are trying to reach people’s hearts? They are DEAD churches with DRY bones that need NEW LIFE!

I wrote Eirinth to try to get those claiming to know Jesus Christ to see that the Gifts of the Spirit are REAL in our world even if the world of Eirinth is allegorical. I thought that people would understand and embrace the reality of the gifts to empower His Church in these last days now more than ever. I at least thought it could be used to reach those in certain reading groups to give Christianity a chance with this different approach. These two books so far in 2021 are my HEART! My complete LOVE OF JESUS AS MY SAVIOR is also pain for the lost as His Ambassador of Hope.

I know that many in the true church of Jesus Christ are tired, worn, discouraged, depressed, powerless, and even angry. I am all of those things too right now. I just have a fire burning in my soul that will not let me stop sharing what I know that I KNOW. Not fiction, but a story that leads to Life Eternal, especially in Book 2 with a very dramatic Salvation in Eirinth with references to Christ to reach the souls of those still searching for what I ALREADY HAVE – JESUS! He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I’m living proof in 2021. SEEK HIM. FIND HIM. KNOW HIM. HE NOW WAITS!

“When an Accident is a Reminder of the Grace in Christmas”

By Tonja Condray Klein (Op-Ed 12/21/20)

On Saturday 12/19/20, I had an accident on the way home from shopping for Christmas presents. I was only five miles or so away from home at a light I know like the back of my hand when I realized an SUV in front of me wasn’t yet moving even though the light was green. I had already slowed down, but I hadn’t expected my last pump on the break to send me into a fish-tail. The pavement was slick from rain I hadn’t expected since I hadn’t had any issues all the way to that point, so all I could do was hold onto the steering wheel, scream out to Jesus to help, and wait for the impact.

The impact was not as bad as it could have been since I wasn’t going that fast from having already slowed on the way to the light. I haven’t had an accident or a ticket for the past thirty years. Yes, that’s right, I wrote 30 YEARS! After the pain in my knees got my attention I realized the impact had ended. I was okay except for bruises I knew I’d have on my knees from the dash and soreness in my shoulders from the hit jerking me. The man from the vehicle in front that I had rear-ended due to stupid rain making the pavement slick came to see if I was okay. He and his SUV were okay.

The man called the police to report the accident, and I called Ken to tell him about the wreck. The man and I both took pics of the other’s id and insurance cards then moved the cars to an empty lot on the same street. After ordering a tow for my car so badly crushed in front that I was barely able to turn the wheel to get car into the lot, the man and I waited for the police to arrive. I gave him one of my cards, and he told me that he was a Fantasy reader. I began telling him about my books and music then showed him the artwork of my characters I’d put on my phone and done by my amazing artist.

The police came, I got that stupid ticket the rain caused, then man left, and then I waited for the tow truck. I had to put more coat hood up and gloves on since the temperature was dropping and I couldn’t have my heat on due to the fluid leaking from my car. I was still a bit jarred. I simply thought that it happened for a reason, so I accepted it… until a rental car couldn’t be obtained until Monday which meant Ken would have to miss work since our other car was still in the shop. That was when I began coming apart emotionally. If this happened for a reason then why weren’t things working out?

Trusting God in the midst of problems isn’t easy, no matter how long you’ve known Jesus as Savior. I’ve known Jesus as Savior since I was eight years old, and I’m forty-eight in 2020. I still felt like giving up earlier today when I kept beating myself up over the ‘what ifs’ and kept feeling worse since the wreck was my fault and Ken was going to have to miss work… my fault too. Things are always my fault when I can’t get things to work out right. Ken doesn’t agree with me, and when I keep berating myself over a failure, it hurts him. I need to pray about that and read scripture against it.

Could this have turned out worse? Yes, I could have continued fish-tailing and ended up hitting a car that killed someone. Yes, I could have not fish-tailed and hit the SUV in the middle that would have deployed the air bag that might have hurt or killed me. Yes, the fact that the airbag did not go off means that the car won’t be totaled and is actually able to be fixed. Yes, if we didn’t have comprehensive insurance none of this could be fixed at all. As upset as I am to have an almost perfect driving record ended, at least no one was hurt badly or killed, and I was able to share my faith during it.

I believed that until today when I began to feel like I was useless, worthless, and purpose-less. Do those feelings come from a woman who continues to fight an ongoing auto-immune disease that is currently in remission? Not usually, but a new fear of driving in any weather other than sunshine might. An old fear of fear of letting down the people that I love at the worst times always does. An old fear of driving in rain already has as part of the new one. So how does this accident that was personal yet not fatal show how anyone else but me can be reminded of Grace at Christmas by this?

Ask the man who I rear-ended who may be reading my book or listening to my songs and may have known Jesus and is encouraged or maybe hadn’t but finds the way to Faith. Ask the tow truck driver who was already a Jesus believer but shared the news of his recent baptism with me but didn’t know why except that I had K-Love radio on in my car. Ask those reading this right now still asking the first question but still go to look up my books, my songs, or K-Love radio just because they read this out of curiosity and yet find something else that makes Christmas become that time of Grace.

Jesus Christ was born in Bethlehem over two thousand years ago, and He was crucified when he reached the age of thirty-three-and-a-half for every single human to be given a chance to accept His sacrifice by Grace through Faith, and never something by them since it’s a Gift of God. I sometimes forget that nothing is ever about me or my abilities. Every time something happens is a possibility to show God’s Love, Mercy, and Grace. If He uses my feeble skills or words then my joy should be full even if it hurt my pride, my body, or even my record in anything. Jesus is Lord, and I am His.

This Christmas 2020 is going to be hard for so many people who have lost loved ones, the ability to give to their families due to loss of resources, and even the rights to be with those they love even if the gathering be it ever so humble before is being taken away completely. I won’t be able to do what I’d had planned for my family since our car will be in the shop, and even if we should have a rental Monday, the weather is to be snowy on Christmas Eve and I couldn’t drive in it before the accident and especially not now after the accident and in a rental. It may be a Blue Christmas for most.

Let my accident be a reminder of the Grace in Christmas! Even if things are hard and horrible for you right now, try to see the Grace of the Savior in the face of the baby in a Manger as you sing carols via skype, Facetime, or Chat. Try to reach out in a safe but meaningful way to those who are hurting or alone by using those ways too and send food to them if they can’t order it for themselves. Try to share the same kind of Grace shown at Christmas to be found at Calvary once it fills your heart with Salvation. Even if you have accidents happen later you will then find His reasons will be enough.

“Truth from a Real RRMS Survivor” – 11/23/20

By Tonja Condray Klein

I was diagnosed with Multiple Scleroses in 2004 after having a Grand Mal seizure. Migraine headaches happened the summer before the seizure, and some neurologists say it’s a continuum with neurological disorders. It was a sign that I didn’t know could mean something else was wrong. I’d dealt with allergies and respiratory infections since a child, so I’d taken medication for that all of my life. After several tests I was put on a MS medication, but I took it for only a year, I’m the kind of patient who researches any medicine I take to make sure it’s the best for whatever condition I have. Symptoms listed on reputable sites for regular MS didn’t match what I was experiencing, so I gradually stopped the MS medication in 2005. I still had allergies, respiratory infections, and viruses, but no symptoms like before and no seizures.

For seven years I went without any MS medications and didn’t seem to have any symptoms. Even the migraines never happened again. Then in 2012 I had two Grand Mal seizures the same day separated by hours and two trips to the hospital, where they kept me after the second seizure. I was diagnosed with Relapsing-Remitting Multiples Scleroses – RRMS – by a different Neurologist who became my new one until he retired in 2020. After I was placed on a different MS medication, I went without any problem for three years, so it had seemed I’d finally been placed on correct treatment. The MS went into remission until 2015 when the medicine injection developed a painful red rash. I went to the ER, but they said it was muscles spasms and sent me home with pain medicine. The ER doctor didn’t even check the site.

When the injection site got worse, I went to my primary care physician and she saw it was cellulitis, a dangerous situation for anyone with MS. She sent me immediately to the hospital with her referral and demand for proper care. I was there for a few days on pain medicine as they began antibiotics. They sent me home with antibiotics, but after the course at home the cellulitis again began to be so painful I was screaming and couldn’t walk. My supportive husband who is an amazing hospital IT Technician took me to the ER for the third time. Once they did extractions of the tissue in that thigh area, it turned out to be a flesh-eating infection. They began another round of antibiotics, but that wasn’t working so the physician who was a surgeon for this type of condition decided to do surgery to remove that part of my thigh.

17cm wide x 9cm high x 2cm deep was my mantra for the months after the surgery. I had to allow a nurse to then come to our place to change the dressing for my open wound that my husband and I had to change between her visits. If a catastrophe would happen in Dayton, Ohio then I would be well prepared to change wounds of anyone affected now. The fact that I had to change the bandages for the wound my husband had after surgery for a different infection also prepared me for the road to recovery of my own. What nothing prepared me for was the emotional trauma of it all, the feeling of a helplessness that I hadn’t felt as strong as I did through this. Let me try to explain. “I” am the “Go-To Girl” in my family. Though I’ve always been sickly I’ve been positive. This brought me to my knees to make me question all I believed.

Even while in the hospital I was part of a launch team for a fellow author releasing his new Christian Fantasy Novel that I texted positive responses as support. I also found out that my original song “Dancin’ on the Wind” that I wrote and sang as a recorded single was number 7 in the Fan Favorites 2015 countdown for the Sounds of the Valley radio program on local station WGNZ! In the midst of this mayhem, God Almighty was still using my music to bless others. It was humbling as I lay in the hospital bed, and I was so thankful for the blessings and talents my Creator has given to me, but I was still fighting for my life then and continued to after I got home to recover. Recovery was the dragging months of personal, mental, physical, and spiritual battles that I never would have won on my own.

While I had been in the hospital before my surgery, I had a couple of really bad moments of telling myself that I was failing because my body was weak and I couldn’t ever be what I was supposed to be as a Christian singer, songwriter, and novelist. In tears, I’d sat there one night berating myself over opportunities I had wasted and what was happening was my punishment for that failure. It was then when God Almighty, my Savior Jesus Christ had His Holy Spirit to remind me who I am by putting my own song that I’d written back in the 1980’s and released as a single in 2015 “My Captain” in my memory. My own words spoke comfort to me, and how do you deny a message that you knew was true that many decades ago? You can’t. You can try, but it will ring in your heart as the bell of victory over the lies of disease and destruction.

The moments of tears, frustration, anger, depression, uselessness, weakness, and fear can make you wish you could leave this world to be with God and those who have joined Him through Faith in Jesus already. It is such a hard temptation to resist when you know it would be so easy to give up and let the MS render you without any ability to be bothered to be used ever again. It would be so easy at times to lie down, take more pain medicine than you need, and to simply let go. It would be, but it isn’t supposed to be. Do you know why? Even if you end up in a wheelchair once you lose the ability to walk, if you can talk then you can encourage someone else. Even if you can’t see anymore, you can become a storyteller in ways you’d never imagined. “Even if” by MercyMe has meaning then and even now.

Am I always so positive? I already told that I’m not. Do I always see a way out of the moments of aggravation from not being able to do what I want or need to do but can’t because this disease stops me? No, I lose my temper, say or write things I have to ask God for forgiveness for, and try to remember that every breath I breathe is a gift from Heaven since this disease has not caused damage to my brain cells that control that. It’s the main point I’m trying to make – YOU are HERE for HIM. Even if you aren’t a Christian, YOU are HERE for HIM. Jesus knew you before you heard of Him. Jesus saw you before you were born. Jesus died for you even if you still doubt He exists. MS may take away parts of your life you will mourn, but Jesus can give life and life more abundantly to you if YOU let HIM. Even with MS.

The CIS (Clinical Isolated Syndrome), RRMS (Relapsing-Remitting), PPMS (Primary-Progressive), or SPMS (Secondary-Progressive) types of Multiple Sclerosis can destroy your life or give you a reason to fight for it. Each type has its own symptoms, treatments, challenges, and physical deteriorations that are different for each individual but can change between types. What I went through may not be what anyone else experiences, but the feelings this disease can cause can be the same for those who have any type of a disability because of MS. Before MS, I received almost a full scholarship for Computer Science major and teaching minor but had to withdraw due to missing class from allergies causing infections, but I got my Webpage Development Certificate in 1999 for business that I still use in 2020.

Since MS, I’ve published two Fantasy Novels and released my first Music EP Album of original songs I wrote and sing. I’m fighting MS all the way! I’m not some amazing exception to the rule of this disease’s horrors. This is meant to encourage those in physical battles against whatever type of this disease you have. DO NOT GIVE UP! Jesus Christ is still Lord, Savior, Healer, God Almighty as the Son, Creator, Redeemer, Forgiver, Restorer, and Source of our strength if we let Him take our burdens as we fight through Faith in Him and His Promises. Although I may eventually die from this, I will still keep fighting MS until then. Even if the feelings overwhelm me at times, and I feel like I have failed in all I’ve tried to do for Jesus and people around the world, I will still keep fighting MS. I’m in remission, but I will still fight MS!

Three MS medications failed me. This fourth one is working, but that can change at any moment. My only hope is truly in my Faith in Jesus Christ since He goes beyond anything to help with healing when we need Him. Sometimes God says, “No.” I will keep hoping that He won’t since I do believe I have more to do for Him. When the time comes for me to leave Earth for Heaven, I will be sad at what I will miss with those I love here that remain. My only Hope is that they will know Jesus as Savior and join me when it’s time for them. With the way things are in 2020, I don’t know how much time we have until ALL BELIEVERS IN CHRIST WILL BE RESCUED AND TAKEN TO HEAVEN. It will happen, and if things keep going the way they have been with the Covid-19 situation and contested election, we may leave sooner.

I have met other MS patients who have been in wheelchairs or otherwise disabled, and my heart aches for them. I can still walk, dance, talk, sing, move my hands and feet, hold things in my hands, carry things from place to place, and I otherwise have full control over my physical faculties. The only damage is that I sometimes don’t remember names like I used to be able to more easily or I forget things I need to take from one room to another before I take others and have to go back. Since I’m 48 years old, I honestly don’t think that’s too bad on the aging mentality level! I stay tired. That’s my biggest complaint, but I also have insomnia at times and use those moment to write instead of complain (if I can). My life has been good, and it still is good now. We have our good days and our bad, and I’d rather be alive and still fighting MS.

My hubby will be 53 in 2021, I’ll be 49, my sister will be 71, and my Mom will be 90. Depending on how these final Christian prophecies are met will determine if we will still be here when the ‘rescue’, ‘evacuation’, ‘catching away’, ‘Rapture’ of the Believers in the Blood of Jesus Christ will happen. We might die before millions to billions disappear at the same time here on Earth. It seems to be getting closer, and I’m hoping to go together, but regardless of that I hope that people will think about the reality of Jesus Christ, His Sacrifice on Calvary for our fallen state, and personal gift He has as Salvation by Grace and through Faith in Him so we can find the reality of eternity waiting for us. Even if MS or age takes us, we need to be ready when we meet Him once we leave this mortal body. I now have an MS-free one waiting!